MEMORIES

Two weekends past found our family at the high school gymnasium watching the regional  wrestling tourney.  I’m helping coach, my youngest daughter is wrestling, my oldest daughter is a manager, and my wife and son are ardent fans, cheering from the bleachers.  My youngest made it to the championships and the competitors for the finals were lined up on either side of the mat for the “faceoff”.  Each finalist writes a short bio listing their accomplishments, thanking whoever, etc.  My daughters bio started with thanking her team mates, coaches and parents.  Then she dedicated her match to her brother Drew.  Her older sister and I raced to the equipment room to hide our tears.  Her mother cried in the stands and Kelly worked to maintain her composure on the mat with tears streaming down her face.  A hug from another finalist calmed her and everything returned to normal.
Wrestling was and is a hugh part of our family life.  Drew loved wrestling and in many ways it defined a large part of his life.  The memories of that bring us great joy but in the flash of an eye they also bring us great sadness.
The senselessness of suicide makes acceptance so difficult.  After almost 4 years we still have no answers, nor will we.  Those memories rush to the surface and raw emotion is so close behind.
If you hurt, are depressed, think there is no tomorrow, belive that things are unbearable please call someone. Believe me, there are people that love you and would miss you terribly.  I miss my son every day.  I have only memories.  Every life has purpose.  Suicide is never the answer.

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